Summer vacation blues

I've been feeling nervous and anxious and worried and all the synonyms that go with these words. Why? I don't know. A combination of things. Tomorrow is already July 1st and I'm looking at Facebook, seeing photos that people posted of wonderful places where they are traveling and my travel envelope is empty. So is my clothing envelope. Hubby is finishing his 6 month construction job with not a job in the very near future and that is also very disturbing, especially since I need nearly $2,000 from him each month to keep us going - and not even going, but to just be able to eat. So, I'd rather be travelilng to the North of Sweden and taking in the midnight sun, or taking a cruise along the Mediterranean or even Eastern Europe - just one city!! One city. That isn't asking for too much - is it?

I did buy a couple of tickets to the Jerusalem Film Festival, which is a lot cheaper than travel, and that will keep me happy for 10 days. And in August there's the Arts and Crafts festival with its many stalls, works of art, gypsy cafe, international performers, local performers, etc. There will be free/cheap entertainment this summer, but I worry. Will I be able to even have lunch out while my office is closed for two weeks? I was hoping to do "lunches" at various restaurants around Jerusalem because it's less expensive than dinner and I hardly go out for lunch - which is always taken indoors at the office. So this would be a treat. But what if I can't afford those lunches? I'm worried about summer deprivation and it's still only June 30th.

Every day I look at my two bathrooms where shower doors are supposed to be - and where I was hoping, after living in my apartment for two years, that they'd finally be installed. But it's a bad case of the "shoemaker's family's shoes" syndrome, and I'm living it. Feh.

You know how you have those bouts of "nothing is going my way" days. This week is one of those weeks.

It began by me going to a wedding of a distant relative of mine in Jerusalem. I didn't even ask Hubby to tag along because we hardly know anyone who would be there, and with separate seating for men and women at this ultra-Orthodox event, he would be totally alone. Which left more adventurous me to represent our family. I walked in with my lovely burgandy Naot sandals and a modest skirt with sequins scattered here and there and a black top which covered my elbows. I even wore a head covering. But everyone else there was dressed in designer duds and wigs and no one was wearing sandals (gasp!), while I was the only one there whose stocking-less toes were peeking out through their shoes. Fortunately, I found another outcast there(who was easily identifiable by her non-glamorous clothing and partially uncovered hair) among the guests, and so we sat together at our own table - no one bothering to sit with us, as if we had the plague or were in exile for daring to dress down/dowdy/different.

That was number one. Then every time I'd open Facebook this week, it opened up in Hebrew and I'd have to figure out how to get it to go back into English. You might think it's petty but I want my creature comforts and if I don't have money for travel, and English is it, then I should have it.