Elton

"He's not just an asshole.  He's a FUCKING asshole".  I was deep in conversation with my daughter on lessons in life, describing to her exactly who is a good performer and who isn't, which depended on whether they cancelled their performances in Israel or not.  The asshole is question was Elvis Costello. 

Boycotting Israel won't do anything for the Palestinian cause. I'm thinking what did Elvis Costello or the Pixies doing to help the Palestinians. Did they help them by cancelling? I'm of the mindset that if you want Israel to suffer economic or cultural hardship, as a result of various boycotts, just remember that we and the Palestinians are intertwined.  Like it or not, we are bound together. If we suffer hardships, so do they. If our economy is good, theirs is better too. Things are far from perfect for them, but this is how it is generally.

We were on our way to the Elton John concert in Tel Aviv, travelling by train to avoid traffic and wanting to get there early, without hassle.  It seems that anything that was more "hassle-free" would be the direction I would be taking. 

In Jerusalem 10,000 police or so were gearing up for Ultra-Orthodox demonstrations.  They expected tens of thousands of demonstrators.  What was all this shit about?  Again?  How long will I have to smell burning trash each time my bus passes by their neighborhoods.  Fuck.

The State of Israel had wanted to desegregate Ashkenazi kids from Sephardic kids in a school up in a small  place in the West Bank called Emmanuel.  Seems the school had the kids in separate classrooms, and those that didn't want to desegregate their kids, kept their kids at home.  In turn, the parents were about to go to jail for two weeks for disobeying the order.  Assholes.  Is this what will bring the Messiah?  Yeah, yeah, we know about the different customs between the two strains of Jews but so what?  Can't they just have just a tiny bit of unity.  Just once?  I commented to a friend how my daughter had married into quite a religious Sephardic family, who didn't care that we weren't Orthodox.  That would never have happened had it been an Ashkenazi family, who would have looked at us like Pariahs - as they look at everyone who isn't like them.

So together with Elvis Costello, and the Pixies, the Ashkenazi Ultra-Orthodox Jews pissed me off this past week too. 

I needed a break, and Hubby was getting on my nerves with his complaining about the army of ants invading our kitchen, blaming it on my housekeeping or whatever semblance of housekeeping I do have, and also complaining to me about my youngest daughter who uses an entire tube of toothpaste when she brushes her teeth, leaving sloppy remnants of overflow toothpaste all over the bathroom sink.  I was going to go to Elton with Hubby, but since he was like "I'm never going to go with you to anything" I reined in my Complainer daughter (who complains a lot less lately), telling her to take a day off work.

I was feeling rather queasy that day.   My daughter met me at work and decided to treat me to lunch.  Fair deal, since I treated her to the concert.  The won ton soup and sushi seemed to do well for me.  In a matter of an hour I felt back to normal and was so grateful.  Sushi heals!  So does leaving work two hours early.

So we hopped on the bus, which we waited for quite a while, since the the demonstrations were underway at the time.  We made it to the train just in time.   Bnei Brak was the station closest to the stadium, and we were both a bit nervous since it was an ultra-orthodox neighborhood in Tel Aviv, and we weren't dressed for that 'hood with our sleeveless tops and all.

"If they try to start up with me, I'll fucking kill them.  I'll spray them with deodorant." my daughter exclaimed to me.  A police officer sat with us.

"There" I said.  "See?  We have police protection already." 

We got out at the station, which wasn't exactly inside the neighborhood and there were large signs pointing outdirections to the Stadium.  We got there 2 1/2 hours too early.  Once inside the stadium, we couldn't leave.  It was steamy hot in Tel Aviv.  We're not used to humidity, us Jerusalemites.  So even though the train seems to be the way to go, taking a later train would have meant getting there too late.  The best thing would have been to stick around the local mall for an hour and a half.  We quenched our thirst with expensive cups of water (yes, cups) which cost 10 NIS (around $3).  And we waited for Elton, while the sound guys did their checks, over and over with a loud "ONE......TWO" getting the sound just right.

And then the lights dimmed, the crowd cheered and  Elton began with Funeral for a friend/Love lies bleeding.  After a couple of songs, he said to the audience "Shalom, we are so happy to be back here! Ain't nothing gonna stop us from coming, baby,"  "Musicians spread love and peace, and bring people together. That's what we do. We don't cherry-pick our conscience."   At that moment, there was this sense of overwhelming love for this guy - he touched 50,000 souls.  I screamed out "I LOVE YOU ELTON" hoping my voice will reverberate down to the stage, while my amused daughter looked on.  And I clapped and cheered like a crazy.  He is definitely not on my Wuss list.

When he sang Yellow Brick Road the audience went wild.  Everyone stood up and began singing along with him and dancing.  Behind me, people stood and danced in the aisles, while the French woman next to me yelled at a couple of people behind her to shut up as they were talking (not singing) and it was disturbing her.  I found the sound to be good, in general, though the first two to three seconds of many of the songs, Elton's voice seemed to be down in the mix, but the sound people corrected it and we then heard him clearly.  As I don't remember set lists, my friend sent me her recollection of the list.  It was:


Funeral for a friend
Levon
Philadelphia Freedom
I guess that's why they call it the blues
sacrifice
Madman across the water
Daniel
Bitch
tiny Dancer
candle in the wind
sat nights all right for fighting
lover song (didn't know it)
I'm still standing
benny and the jets
Rocket man
Don't let the sun go down on me
Crocodile rock
sorry seems to be the hardest word
encore -Circle of Life
Your song
 
And, again, thank you Elton for not cowtowing to pressure to cancel your concert.

Elton

I prepared so well, I thought, for the upcoming ticket sales in Israel for the Elton John concert in June.  I read the reports  of groups trying to get him to boycott Israel.  Yawn.  This is getting boring already.  They do this to every celebrity who books concerts here.  Most ignore the boycott pleas and threats.  I hope Elton has the balls to pay no heed to these party poopers.  Cancelling a concert will not make things better for Palestinians in this country.  It'll just piss me off and probably a few other peacemakers too. 

But getting back to the tickets...Advance ticket sales were available to Bank Discount members beginning from 7:00 pm last night.  I'm a member (or rather my husband is) - even though that bank pisses me off - except when they give their members perks such as this.   I called up the bank last week to make sure that my credit card was open and ok to accept purchases.  After all, it has been over a year since I used it.  The bank clerk told me that there is no problem with the card.  Yesterday I called another bank clerk to get more credit in case I want to buy more than 4 tickets.  He said everything is fine.  Wonderful.  I'm ready.

I did some errands then came back to the office at 6:45 pm and got the website ready on my computer.  Of course by the time 7:00 pm rolled around, it took me 20 minutes to get onto the site.  I finally got in.  Yay!  I filled out all the information they needed, picked out some fabulous seats in the front row on the side of the stage - very close to the stage, in fact -  and then took my credit card out.  I plugged in the numbers, my ID number, etc. and then I saw the expiry date.  I look at the card - remember, I had been planning this for a week already - and the expiry date says 09/09.  SHIT!  I tried putting in a random expiry date, but the computer is smart.  It doesn't take my card.  I use the other Visa I have, but the computer insists I use the Bank Discount credit card.  I leave the webpage open, just in case I never get in again because of all the people trying to buy tickets at the same time.   

I have to think fast.  I call up the credit card company.  I'm frantic.  I'm wondering if there are more frantic people calling them about Elton John.

"Look, I'm trying to buy Elton John tickets, and my visa date expired.  Can you give me a new updated date?  Please?"

It seems hopeful at first while the clerk puts me on hold probably to speak to his manager.  He comes back on.

"Sorry. You have to speak to your bank about this.  We don't give new expiry dates."

"But my bank doesn't open until 8:30 in the morning" I wailed. "Can't you give me a temporary one?"

"No.  I'm so sorry."  He really sounded sympathetic.  But there was no point in arguing with him.  I had to think quickly while the ticket sales website was still on the payment page. 

AH!  I remembered that a good friend of mine has a Discount Visa.  We tried doing this together, but she had a difficult time with the Hebrew instructions.  I guided her through but the transaction failed.  She doesn't have enough credit on her card.

Never give up.  My Complainer daughter has to do something good for her mother, doesn't she, instead of chronically complaining all the time.  I call her several times.  She doesn't answer her phone. 

It's 8:00 pm, and no tickets.  I go out for dinner with friends.  My daughter calls and apologizes (!). She was working and couldn't answer her phone, but if I'm in town, we can go home together.

Yes, and I could take your Visa, I thought.  She didn't complain when I asked her for it.  Not a flinch.  When I arrived home after midnight I went into my son's room where the computer is.  I let him rant and rave about me making noise.  I tried to bribe him with concert tickets but he's not interested.  I finally get into the site.  Most of the great seats are gone - except for the very expensive lawn seats.  I get a gate close to the stage, but 23 rows up.  Not bad.  Not as great as I could have gotten had I had an updated credit card, but they were good nevertheless.

So Elton, hang on....it'll be a rocky road with every asshole trying to get you to cancel the concert.  Don't listen to anyone.  Just do what you have to do so we can all have a great time together....