Saturday, January 01, 2011

Return to Sender

I don't know what it takes to get decent service over here.  I had bought a wireless router from one of the better-known computer chains in Israel.  It was their best - said their salesman.  Turned out, not only could I not get the router hooked up to my laptop, but neither could any technician.  Turned out it wasn't compatible with my modem.  I tried to return the router back to the store and they were like "well, it can't be returned because it's not defective."  Not de-fucking-fective?  Do they want me to drop the thing to make it defective?   No amount of arguing could get them to budge.  We didn't budge until they offered us a refund minutes 30%.  No thank you.  We'll sell it privately.  It's brand new and unused.  Someone will buy it from us at close to the price we paid.

I call up my internet provider to get a price on their wireless.  The saleslady is very aggressive and wants a commitment from me immediately.  It'll only cost me 20 NIS a month.  I tell her I'll think about it.  She calls me back and screams - "why didn't you call me back?"  I tell her I'm not interested.  I end up buying it from another service provider because a technician of their will hook it up and it was 1/2 the price of the one quoted previously.  Two weeks later I get a router in the mail from the internet provider with the nasty saleswoman.  I call them and it takes me countless number of phone calls before I get a manager to listen to me and I repeat myself about 10 times to different people about how I didn't order this router but it was sent to me anyways.  After a week, they finally decided to refund me but I have to pay to return the router to them registered mail. 

I bought a mascara last week from one of the drugstore chains in another part of town, which I don't frequent regularly.  It was from an expensive brand.  I thought I was getting a bargain as it was marked 50% off, and the gay salesman was cute and we chatted about the face products I use.  The next day, I open the mascara, brush it on my lashes and pieces of mascara are dropping from the brush.  It's dry and old.  I have to return it.   Maybe they won't let me return it because I've opened it.  Who knows.  Another day, another fight, another waste of energy.  I go to my local drugstore - the same chain and see the same guy there. 
"I saw you in Pisgat Zeev on Sunday"
He smiled.  He's famous.  I recognize him.
"The mascara you sold me at 50% off is absolute crap.  It's old and useless.  I need to return it."
He's no longer smiling and is turning red in the face.  I'm sorry for embarrassing him, but I want justice.  The women behind the makeup counter look at my receipt and open the mascara and see that I'm right.  He asks that I get an equal exchange on the mascara and that they replace it at no further cost to me, but the other salesladies say they can't give me 50% off on new mascara.  They give me back the cost of the mascara but I have to pay another 25 NIS more.  Furthermore, they continue, the mascara I had previously bought was mispriced because it was never 199 NIS.  It was 159 NIS and was sold to me at 99NIS.  So someone is doing some kind of crime, of which I have no idea to whom to complain.  Imagine in the holy land, jacking up the price of products and then claiming that it's 50% off, when it's no more than 25% off.  Shit people.

I bought a baby gift for my daughter's friend, whom I visited last week.  She tried the outfit on him, but it just about fit him.  She looked at me and said, "I think I'm gonna go and exchange it for a bigger size."

Have fund with the exchange honey.  I hope they don't see that pen mark on the hood....