Saturday, March 05, 2011

Has Everyone Gone Mad?

It seemed this over past weekend that I was the only half-normal person in a sea of crazy people.

Thursday night Hubby took me up on an offer to have dinner at a relatively new fish restaurant and in a matter of 1/2 hour made 50 new friends on the bus to Jerusalem where he was to meet me, handing out his business card to anyone who wanted one, gave MY number to the woman sitting next to him because he believed she and I have so much in common, and struck a conversation with an American tourist couple, who thought he was the greatest thing since Belgian Chocolate.

On the bus back from the restaurant I tell a woman to please move her shopping cart so I can sit down.  She glared at me.

"What do YOU want?"

"I want you to put your cart on the side of the seat so I'll have a place for my feet." 

She ranted to anyone who'd listen about how difficult her life is and how I'm making it more difficult for her.

Then while traveling on the main Jerusalem road dividing east and west Jerusalem, we hear a big bang.   We looked and saw 2 little kids running away from the bus uphill.  They seemed no older than 7 years old.  Tiny Arab troublemakers.  Luckily the bus's windows are plexiglass and the rock didn't make a single dent/scratch in the window.  And this caused the crazy woman with the shopping cart to focus away from me and launch into an anti-Arab tirade.

"Our stupid leftist government!  Why do we give the Arabs Azariya?  Why do I have to live next to an Arab village?  I'm gonna tell the Arab president of the United States to come to Jerusalem so he could see how many Arabs live here.  I hate them!!!"

I piped in "Look lady, if there aren't any Arabs living here, there'll be no knafe!! " which caused other bus passengers to laugh.

Again she glared at me and began an anti-Russian tirade, about how much she hates Russians, believing that I'm Russian, although Hubby and I were conversing in English.  It was so absurd, we couldn't hold ourselves back from laughing.

Friday morning, I went quietly into my son's room to shut off his internet because my router works only when I log onto the internet first.  He unfortunately woke up and began to spew out all manners of curses like only a teenager can.  I said to him - "You know, you sound like you have Tourette's Syndrome", and closed the door to let him continue his beauty sleep, hopefully for the rest of the morning and afternoon.

"Where the fuck does that come from?" asked Hubby "His face cream?" Of course that made no sense, but often times, Hubby comes up with nonsensical theories.

As my daughter was peeling potatoes for the Sabbath dinner, she was telling me how it wasn't right that I was working so hard and for such long hours.

"A husband should be the one bringing home the money.  A woman should just raise a family and cook and clean.  That's the kind of husband I'm going to have - one who doesn't want his wife to work."

I cringed - how did I get a daughter so 1950s?

I told her - "Honey, you sure can cook, but you're not so strong in the 'cleaning' department.  The guy's only going to get half the deal.  Please don't promise him that you'll clean the house."

She's the messiest kid I have.  Tons of jewellery, money, IDs and what nots go missing in her room, only to be found underneath piles of dirty and clean clothing, plastic bags, makeup, shoes - lots of shoes, purses and ticket stubs.  Nothing gets put away and I thanked God for the Passover holiday because only then does the Fear of God strike her and she will actually clean her room for the first and only time in a year.

Then Hubby got the madness in him as the Sabbath was about to start.   My daughter comes out of her room and finishes up her potato salad.

"Dad said your food's not so good this weekend."

"I don't care what he thinks." I said, looking at my masterpiece in the oven - which was meatball tangine and couscous.

Hubby hears this and thunders - "I said NO SUCH THING!!!  You know I never complain about your food.  SHE'S A LIAR!!! "  He turns to her - "WHY DO YOU SAY SUCH THINGS??"

She says quietly - "because it's true"

"IT'S NOT TRUE.  That's it!!! I'm not coming to the table tonight."

 I told him I agreed with him, that I knew she was lying (she probably wasn't).

But no amount of pleading worked.

And the Drama King retreated to his room for the rest of the evening.