Words

I got this hysterical email from a friend. I also figured what a great way to teach a foreigner you don't like, a little bit of English!

"Once again, The Washington Post has published the*winning submissions to its yearly contest,in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings*for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men."

And then I came up with two of my own - since I'm such a genius.

1. Gallbladder - the nerve of being incontinent
2. Paypal - paying the Vatican for the chance to become Pope.

Since English is not my son's first language any longer, I was trying to guess which city he was talking about, when he was telling me about the basketball games from the U.S he was watching on tv.

Scaraminto??? It took me a few minutes to realize he was talking about Sacramento. Sheesh. Foreigners!

My Arabic lessons are going well. It's a hard language but I have my fave words there too...

1) Daiman = always; but it sounds like "diamond"
2) Shitta = rainy; yup, rainy weather is shitta weather for sure
3) Moustashfa = hospital; but it sounds like moustache so it's easy to remember
4) mumkin = possible; it's a fun word because it sounds like pumpkin or munchkin.

That's all the words I have to day today, folks.