I look out my window at work and see yellow leaves gathered on the ground. I feel I'm back in the US - somewhere in the Northeast - but it's not as cold. It has been raining and I love having the rain pour its wetness on me. I don't use an umbrella or a hood. It washes my sadness away.
Over the weekend my son, whom I try to educate in the best way I can, was telling me excitedly that the manager of Jerusalem's soccer team, Betar, was going to place an Arab player on the team.
"That's wonderful! Maybe the fans will be less racist if he wins a few ones for us."
But by the end of the weekend, my son gleefully told me the plan was nixed because the fans were totally against it. Again, Betar will be the only team without any Arab players. What fools. I silently celebrated their loss on Saturday to Petach Tikvah.
Son was suspended from school today because of bad behavior. I took away his keyboard, but I was told by the Complainer after checking in today that he found another one in the house.
I called Hubby to alert him.
"Yeah, I smashed it."
"YOU SMASHED IT?? WHAT DOES THAT TEACH HIM??? TO DESTROY PEOPLE'S STUFF??" Never mind all the therapy he'll need.
I complained bitterly about my life to a co-worker.
"That's men for you."
"That's no excuse. If that were the case, Hubby would be a great advertisement for a lesbian lifestyle."
Hubby is in-between jobs and down in the dumps. I was at my wit's end by this morning and gave him one of my own Sermons in the Car.
"I don't care if you become a Buddhist. Throw Judaism out the window if it bothers you so much. Meditate. (I was secretly hoping he would take the hint and go to a Buddhist monastery for a few months and leave us all alone) You'll get rid of your anger and your depression and you won't take any of this stuff - the hardships with the kids, the taxes, your work - personally. You'll see it in a different light."
Surely Judaism teaches us how to cope with life's trials and tribulations, but he is not grabbing a fucking clue.
I began to shout - "I don't even care if Jesus saves you. Someone's gotta save you, if you ain't gonna go on meds, sweet pea." And with that I walked out of the car, to my slave job.
Not even a year's membership in the gym is making him happy. And this is something he wanted for years and years. Yesterday, I took my fucking charge card and made 12 payments for the 2 of us in our neighborhood gym, which is spanking new and beautiful with state-of-the-art equipment. He railed at me for making 12 payments instead of being grateful and I wanted to toss his membership card into the Mediterranean.
And then I think of my Jewish meditation mantra and laugh as I recite it ever so slowly....."OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Fall-ing in Jerusalem
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3 comments:
I'd switch places with you, but my kids are all grown and out of the house. Other than that, I might as well be looking in the mirror.
Changes are pending, though. I've enabled this no-joy no-gratitude male fixture I live with. I'm going to take responsibility for my life...and get off the train. Life is too short He'll have to figure things out for himself (for a change).
Ahh no work. IT is such an awful feeling. My hubby was out of work for 5 months and it was hell. I tried so hard to be supportive and was coaching him and trying to be upbeat, but it was me telling him that he looked like total shit and that his hair was terrible for him to go get a hair cut and start to feel good about himself. He got his first interview two days later.
Good luck, we try so hard as wives but sometimes it just has to come from inside them.
I used to laugh at the whole "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" concept, but then I look at my own marriage and those of my friends, and I'm not laughing anymore. We really are from different planets!
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