Sweet 16

I'm ready for yet another 2 week vacation. Perhaps I should apply for a saleswoman's job where I'd have to leave the country for 2 weeks out of the month. This way when there is hell at home I'd only enjoy two weeks of it instead of a full month. Maybe even live longer - who knows?

I rushed home to something I didn't want to rush home to - my son's Parents/Teachers meeting. I knew nothing glorious was going to be said about him and I dreaded hearing what I already knew - that he doesn't listen, doesn't do his homework, doesn't respond, doesn't participate in class speaks rudely to the principal, and thinks he's one cool almost-14-year old dude. So I don't know why I needed to spend 45 minutes with the teacher and 2 other school staff members for them to tell me what I already knew. But I brought the little pipsqueak along so he could hear it back for himself. Going back home, I saw this bike rider on the road, driving with no helmet, in the middle of the road, insufficient bike lights and showing off his riding skills by riding with "no hands". Brilliant. But my heart sank as I realized it's my stupid son. I had a fit and threatened to sell his bike if I ever saw him doing that again.

The Ex-Criminal turned 16 today and was let out of her reformatory for the day. We had made reservations at a nice restaurant in Jerusalem. She wanted the entire family to be there plus the Complainer's boyfriend. I hope she understands this expensive endeavor is replacing a physical birthday gift, although I managed to persuade my cheap eldest daughter to buy her a gift she needs, like boots.

At the restaurant we all seemed like such a loving family, taking photos, and hugging and kissing each other that everyone in the packed place must have thought - Oh how sweet, isn't that such a lovely family - not knowing of the torture they all put me through. I put my daughter back to her "place" in a taxi and fell asleep, reading an article in the paper about immigrant juvenile crime down 17% (isn't it nice when they do lock them up?). I get a call at 11:20 pm and 12:30 am rousing me from my sleep. I'm not a good rouser. I must have sounded like I was partying with Keith Richards. Seems that the daughter never got to her place. I knew where she was. She ran off to her boyfriend's and will have to suffer the consequences when she gets back. I fell blissfully asleep.

Hubby woke up in a foul mood and said our son was the Devil.

"And what are you sweet pea? The Angel of Mercy?" I realized then, although rabbis won't tell you, why Eve was created. The One Above did such a rotton job creating Adam, he had to do some heavy repair work and created Eve. Poor Eve. She had no other women to complain to either.

I just couldn't wait to get out of the house, and into my office where my slave job awaits...