Sunday, June 29, 2008

When Life Imitates Art

I always found it amusing when I would end up watching some Chinese movie and it would be a coincidence when I found myself sitting on the couch eating Chinese food with chopsticks. Totally unplanned in tying the Chinese dinner and Chinese movie together.

A coupla weeks ago, I watched the Israeli version of American Idol. They went to India to find the next Israeli singing sensation. Any why not, when half the fucking nation ends up there after army service. As I sat down to watch the program with my kids, I noticed the bowl on my lap held curried pumpkin soup. A mere coincidence?

Then about a week and a half ago, I saw this Irish movie, The Wind That Shakes the Barley on television, and watched horrified as British soldiers tore the nails off a young IRA militant. I went to sleep and the throbbing of my middle "fuck you" finger woke me up while it was still dark outside, which meant it was around 4:00 am. That morning, the pain was still there, and I went to see a doctor who had to drain this mysterious infection which seeped its way into my finger. And WHY? Because I watched some guy who had his nails forcibly removed? For Chrissakes, isn't this just Hollywood (or whatever you call it if it's an Irish movie)?

Do I have to watch what I watch on television? Should I limit myself to Monty Python flicks? If I watch Woody Allen movies, will I become a neurotic Jewish mother and grandmother. No wait. I am already one of those. Shit. So what's left?

Yesterday I babysat my grandson while they went out to see Adam Sandler's movie, Don't Mess with the Zohan. After I raided my daughter's fridge, I turned on the TV while the baby went to sleep on one of my boobs. I flicked through the stations and wanted to watch a movie about gay people, but they were dying of AIDS, and I thought I'd better not watch it. It's not safe for me to watch movies like that. Even if I never have sex again. So I kept on flipping the stations. And I finally found the program for me - How To Look Good Naked - hosted by this Jagger-esque gay guy who makes overweight, frumpy lumpy women look and feel beautiful again.

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