Sunday, May 07, 2006

Saturday at the Homestead

Thank you Irina for that nice review of this blog on yours.

Had my usual dysfunctional weekend which had me wondering what would life be like if I were in an old-age home, for example, or in a giant mansion with 26 rooms so I can escape to one of them and not listen to everyone's fighting and have maids serve me my food so that I don't need to come out of my room until I have to leave for work. Instead, I had to suffer on my Sabbath. A suffering Sabbath indeed.

The ex-Criminal was in for the weekend and because we don't have a router but have 2 computers, if one is hooked up to the internet, the other isn't - which renders the 2nd computer totally useless if you have 2 computer addicts in the house. That was fight number 1.

Fight number 2 was because the ex-Criminal stole my Good Daughter's undies and Good Daughter saw said undies peeking through the other Daughter's low-slung jeans and the catfight began.

"Take them off NOW!" ordered the Good Daughter.

"If you would only ASK for the undies instead of taking them" I interjected "then we wouldn't be having these arguments"

"She still wouldn't give them to me" retorted the ex-Criminal.

"But then that would make HER wrong, not you."

"leave me alone. I HATE YOU!" was her reply.

She then ran into the bathroom, threw out the undies into the diningroom where we were all sitting, which she had ripped to shreds, and caused Good Daughter to burst into tears and chase her upstairs while more shouting ensued.

Meanwhile, through all this, Hubby gets up from the couch (finally), insults my mothering skills and retreats into his Cave.

I hear a thump onto metal and someone had thrown the Ex-Criminal's cellphone onto my printer which left a nice dent into the shiny, new machine.

Was I not praying hard enough on Friday night - getting into the Voice of God - and all that? SOMEONE wasn't listening.

Then my Son got into the act by poking the ex-Criminal in her thigh which caused her to get into a wrestling match which was for real and not like the World Wrestling Foundation you see on TV where it's just all a big tostesterone act. They were both up against the wall by the door, all beet red and I thought they were really going to pull each other's faces off their faces.

"Can't you act like a decent human being?" I asked my son after this 20 second earthquake came to an end.

"You want me to be a human bean?"

"Yes, a human bean. Can't you act like a Good Human Bean for a change?" I didn't bother correcting his English because at least it made me laugh for the first time that day.


Anonymous said...

I just wanted to thank you for blogging. You are like a breath of fresh air for me.

jerusalemgypsy said...

Thank you! Better than being a breath of hot air, eh?