Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Prutza of Jerusalem

My good friend who is Ultra Orthodox and who lives in a totally Ultra Orthodox town outside Jerusalem was called a "Prutza" yesterday by a man walking on the opposite side of the street - a total stranger. Prutza means a loose woman, a whore.

I know my friend. She is a modest, wonderful woman, who is kind to everyone and who, even though she is swamped with work, doesn't hesitate to cook us all a lunch of pasta, rice or couscous and scrumptious salads when the bosses are away.

But she is very attractive and wears a shoulder-length wig and nice clothing. She doesn't wear a rag on her head nor does she walk around in sloppy house dresses the way other non-working mothers/wives do in that neighborhood.

So instead of enjoying her attractiveness, some Breslover Hasidic male idiot decided to call her names.

"I hadn't been called that in 2 years. I thought maybe I lost some weight!" she told me excitedly.

"Nu, so what did you answer him?" I asked. "Did you thank him. You know at your age, being called a prutza is a compliment."

And we thought of things she should have answered him or use for future prutza-callers.

1. If you think I'm a Prutza, you should see my friend JerusalemGypsy. She's a REAL Prutza.

2. That's a hell of a pick-up line.

3. No thank you, I'm married.

4. Fuck off, you stupid c...t - (if he's English/American)

5. Ishtekha (your wife is a) Prutza (if he's Israeli)

Any other ideas out there?

2 comments:

Richard said...

How 'bout:

"It's all in YOUR mind, buddy!"

"Mind your own fucking business!"

"Lech l'Azazel!"

"Don't you have some Reb Nachman you're supposed to be studying? What're you doing out here leering at proutzot, you dirty old man."

Anonymous said...

How about "Gesundhedt". I can't spell Yiddish words, - but you get my drift