Hodge Podge of Dysfunction

I was standing outside the oldest department store in Jerusalem, which nearly closed this year. I'm looking for gym clothing on sale because after camping in the forest last weekend and finding it difficult to pick myself up from the ground, I felt it necessary to enroll in a fitness program. But I didn't own any shoes, or track pants - nada. My daughter in the reformatory called me and caught me just as I was walking into the store. I stayed outside talking to her, pacing back and forth like a caged lion, explaining to her why she's in her situation. She is still blaming me and not taking the responsibility for herself. The store security guard was watching me the entire time. I'm sure I was making him terribly nervous with my wild hand gesturing and pacing. After about 10 minutes of pacing I hung up the phone and walked inside. Couldn't find a damn thing to wear. I tried to sleep that night somewhat, but my 17 year old woke me up at some ungodly hour, before the sun was up, crying into the phone. Hubby was unsympathetic at that hour and told her to shut the fuck up in no uncertain terms. I even thought that was too cruel and wondered why women cry and are so devastated when their men leave them for other women. Take MINE, puleeze.

Last night my son graduated elementary school. I informed Hubby that he MUST show up and not fall asleep in front of Fox News. This time, looking at the bright side, he said

"Great, now I'll never have to look at that big fat fucking principal ever again."

But just one last time, please!!

Perhaps knowing how Hubby felt about the principal, they tortured us at the graduation for 3 1/2 hours with speeches and more speeches. First from the mayor, then the chief rabbi, then the principal, and the teachers, and 2 first graders, and the head of the education department - the list was terribly long and the speeches were terribly boring. Hubby left after they gave out 80 yearbooks and gifts. I stayed for the year end play which I thoroughly enjoyed because of the Klezmer music and wished they would have had just that for the evening. My shy son opted out of any speaking part and just had background parts. I didn't need 2 hours of speeches - especially speeches in Hebrew which I didn't full understand nor care to.

Over at work I got an e-mail about a Harley Davidson party I was invited to on Saturday evening. "there'll be kosher food" the ad went on to state. Kosher bikers? Hmmmmmm. I was intrigued and called the number.

"Hi. I've never rode a Harley - not even any motorcycle ever in my life. Could I still come?"

"Sure. Last year there were 900 people there. You'll have a great time. There'll be free food and booze and there's a pool."

"Night swimming?"

"Be prepared" he warned. "You're bound to find yourself thrown into the pool, with all that free alcohol being tossed back."

"Great. Do you think I'll look more attractive to these guys after they've had a few?"

He laughed and we hung up. Sounded interesting but it's too far away from Jerusalem.

I was perusing through the New York Times online and read a review of War of the Worlds, which will be premiering here at a large outdoor screening next week at the Jerusalem International Film Festival, which I plan on going to. Underneath the rating of PG-13 there was a note: "There are so few people left on earth, there is little time for sex and foul language." Even that wouldn't stop me.