Karmic Tornadoes

Hubby looked at me horrified as we waited for Abed today at the Qalandiya checkpoint, outside Jerusalem.

"Get that THING off your head NOW!"

He seemed worried and alarmed. Because of today's heatwave and the fact that I was at the cemetery because it was my dad's 1 year anniversary since his death - which we call a "yarzheit", I had put on a hippie-style scarf over my head to prevent my scalp from being able to boil an egg on it. But at the Qalandiya checkpoint Hubby felt I looked too "settler-ish" and was worried. I took it off thinking what a shame you can't look too "Jewish" in an Arab neighborhood because it may not be safe.

The day, despite the heat, was beautiful. I put on an Indian wrap-around skirt when visiting the cemetery. Dad was always against me wearing pants because he was very Orthodox and that was considered men's clothing. So I didn't want his soul too distressed and dressed accordingly. Afterwards I sauntered over to the yard sale which the Association for Americans and Canadians in Israel had which is twice yearly and huge. You feel like you're back in the US of A, with everyone speaking English and all the English-language books and folk music and Simon and Garfunkel blaring on the loudspeakers. Our culture in Israel. Then afterwards I had breakfast at the funky coffee shop in the shuk. It was crowded and the couple sitting across from me - wished me a good appetite.

He went on to explain - "Only Americans have breakfast. Sephardim (Jews from Arab and Mediterranean countries) never have breakfast. We have coffee in the morning and that's it!"

"How do you explain those extravagant breakfast buffets in all Israeli hotels, then?"

Must be that darn American influence then.

The week hadn't been as blissful as today though. On Tuesday, Hubby was picking up Abed when the police pulled him over. They were pulling everyone over - not only him - to check to see if any income tax was owing. Yes, he owed some income tax. Not a terribly large amount but owing nevertheless. They repossessed his car until he pays $2,500. The same day, ex-Criminal daughter decided not to go back to her reformatory and stay with her boyfriend, and she has a permit to leave only until that day. They were threatening calling the police and taking her by force. Being that I knew where she was they decided to wait 24 hours to see if she would go home on her own.

The next morning Hubby and the accountant who looks like Clark Kent went to all the government tax offices to see what they can do to get his car back. Mr. Kent wheeled and dealed and after 5 hours, Hubby said "He DID IT!" and freed up his car.

I spoke to the accountant - "Do you think you can be our lawyer too?" I think he really is Superman in disguise under that nerdy exterior.

Hubby got his car out of the pound where they charged him 2 arms and 2 legs. Hubby insisted on getting an explanation for the exhorbitant fees.

400 NIS for the towing -

"400 NIS for towing? (about $100). It costs me 150 to get it towed twice the distance.

200 for the daily rate.

"What is this a hotel? What else?"

"400 for the cops who took it. plus tax"

Oh, cops on the take. At least they were honest about it. Now I know why Jerry Rubin called them Pigs back in the Sixties. Only these are Israeli Pigs.

Another government agency sent us a notice saying they could repossess our stuff or put a lien on our bank accounts - but we sent our accountant to them because we happen to be paying them off monthly. Why then the threats?? Anybody contemplating moving here? This is what you get, especially when you're in your own business. The Israeli government doesn't only harass Palestinians, they are equal opportunity harassers.

We had this awful 24 hour bad-karma virus from Tuesday to Wednesday. But by Wednesday afternoon at the same time Hubby freed up his car, ex-Criminal daughter was on the bus back to her reformatory. And the winds began to settle down.

I'm looking forward to a weekend of Light in the Jerusalem Forest with several hundred I-don't-know-whats. We'll be camping out, sharing food, doing Yoga, chanting, and I don't know what else. But it'll be another nice change of scenery for me.