Israel's epidemic

I don't know why Hubby is worrying about the bird flu so much. There's another epidemic here that I've just discovered in my town. OK - it's not really an epidemic but it's spreading like wildfire here and there's no cure for it. It's those vibrating rings. Made out of silicone. Get it? The same ones my hairdresser has been going on endlessly about and selling to Hubby.

I couldn't believe it last night when I saw it ON DISPLAY at my neighborhood hardware store down the block. In a hardware store of all places! It actually now gives a new meaning to the "hardware store". I innocently went in there to buy 4 long pieces of wood for our Succah roof and I'm ready to pay. My eyes shift to the window area - on display are keychains, blank video cassettes, other little knick knacks and a few clear plastic, very obvious vibrator rings. It even says so on the packages in English block letters.

What made this really funny, besides this being sold at a mom and pop hardware store was the fact that the owners are ultra-Orthodox (Hareidi in Israeli terms). Mrs. Mom is sitting there in her wig and modest clothing, and to the left of her are those dangling vibrator rings. I tried to stifle my laughter but could barely manage.

"Is there anything else you want to buy"? she smiled at me sweetly.

This time I couldn't contain myself. I burst into laughter.

"No. Just the wood please."

She must have thought I was temporarily insane, laughing about buying wood.

I really was trying to get the nerve to ask her what "those rings" are for - to see if she really knew. If she doesn't know what prices are, where things are in the store, she asks Mahmood, the Palestinian young man who helps them out. I heard her calling for him constantly. I imagined her calling him to help me out with my question, if she didn't want to be bothered or was too embarrassed to give any explanation.

I didn't bother to ask. I'll turn it over to Hubby. He loves this sort of shit.