Old City of Jerusalem - a different view

My "different" brother-in-law and I took Friday to go to the Old City. He wanted to drop letters to God from his Christian friends at the Western Wall. He also thought he'd buy a couple of crucifixes for his buddies too. On the way, I looked for my friend Ismail at the entrance to Jaffa Gate. Fortunately he was there in his suit and tie, looking quite dapper. We sat over coffee and my B-I-L asked me while Ismail was talking to us "he's very handsome, are you shtupping him?" which nearly caused me to do that Dean Martin coffee spit across the room.

On the way to the wall, I asked my B-I-L if he wanted to look for crucifixes here because they're easier to find here. All the merchants heard the "C" word and fell on us like we were the first Christian pilgrims since the Crusaders - "Over here. You can find crucifixes in my shop. Over Here. No Over HERE! Please come in. I give you great price. Look in my shop." We were swarmed but made it over to the wall in one piece.

The way back was a little more exciting. We ventured into one shop when the shop owner told us that if we just entered his shop, we'd bring him good luck. Fine. We told him what we wanted. A menorah and a crucifix. Strange combo but ok - the man doesn't care. He said 150 canadian dollars for both. My B-I-L didn't like anything he showed us and wanted to leave. "I give it to you both for 100 dollars. Please don't leave. You have to bring me good luck by making this purchase."

"I thought if we just walked into your shop we'll bring you good luck"

He told the shop owner - "Look, we'll be back. GIve me your business card." then turns to me and says out loud - "IF he could lie, then I could lie."

What's your name - asked the shop owner.

Hey-sus - answered my B-I-L.

I nearly peed. The guy obviously didn't know that the Spanish pronunciation of Jesus is Heysus.

The shopowner continued - OK Heysus, I give you both for 60 Canadian dollars. Please, please. And he grabbed B-I-L's arm. And by that time, we were all out of the store.

We passed one young shopowner that I knew from peace activities. We spoke to him for a minute, then he left to show us what he had in stock. My B-I-L tells me
"He's gay, he's definitely gay. How about you going off somewhere for 1/2 hour so I could 'swish' with him."

Having no time to "swish", we went back to the Western side of Jerusalem to continue our shuk shopping for the Sabbath. Even the beggars there were not as colorful as what we saw back in East Jerusalem. Just the mood was dampered later that evening when we heard about the terrorist attack in Tel Aviv and were grateful that we were too tired to go club hopping in Tel Aviv that night.