What the hell is out there

"Well how was it?"

That was the first question I asked my friend from work the day after she went on one of her blind dates.

"He's a Natalie Portman stalker."

Hollywood actress, Natalie Portman is studying at Hebrew University in Jerusalem this year - so I hear.

"WHAT!?? You went out with a celebrity stalker??"

"He's really funny and nice. He's just obsessed with her. He talked about her all the time and she even dated him."

"Why would she date her stalker?"

"Because he was such a nudnik, so just to shut him up she dated him."

Yikes. That's the worst kind of shit a woman can do. It probably even feeds these sickos even more so. Thank God my friend isn't seeing him again. Who knows if that guy even wants to see her. She's real pretty but looks nothing like Portman, so that is a definite minus.

I remember when I was 17 and my sister decided I should get married by 18 as she did many years earlier. So she and her friends would set me up with this idiot and that idiot - all not my type. She would tell me how "hep" they were and I would cringe. What the fuck does "hep" mean anyways? It's probably the square person's definition of "hip", but they just can't bring themselves to say "hip" - they'll sound too cool, so they say "hep." Well to me it sounded like an abbreviation of "hepatitis" and anyone who she labelled "hep" wasn't too appealing to me from the onset. So I'd try to get rid of these hep fellows by talking non-stop about the Beatles and each individual one starting with their birthdates, relating their entire biography. This took up most of the evening. Needless to say, they never called me again. I was too "over-hep".