Do I not exist???

Our interfaith group sent out a message of condolence to all our Catholic friends for the Pope who did alot of interfaith work and probably was the most progressive of all popes. The Israeli papers were full of nice articles about him.

Getting back to my gripes for the day - it seems to me that my inner voice does not cry loud enough. So people don't hear me, they don't get me, they do shitty things to me, thinking they are being so good hearted and generous.

Take Hubby, first of all, (please!) - who gave away my NIKON (!) 35 mm camera to his brother because, well, he wanted to. I saw this driver of a gold Jaguar putting into his luggage when he was here for a visit, my very own camera. Knowing the brother is not a thief, I asked Hubby - what's going on.

"Well you don't use it anymore. And besides you have the digital."

"Don't my opinions count. Couldn't you have ASKED me first." True, I hadn't been using the camera because the costs of developing the film was prohibitive. But I was hoping once my kids are out of the house, and my salary can go more for self-indulgence, I would buy myself a decent flash and zoom lens and use it more often. Cameras like this can last decades. Not wishing to seem selfish I let him get away with it - just this time - and threatened d-i-v-o-r-c-e the next time he does it.

Forgetting about the divorce threat, obviously, or perhaps wishing it, Hubby offered a toy we bought for our eldest child 10 years ago. My First Computer. He offered it to our guests for their 8 month old baby.

I heard him tell the guests.

"You can have that toy computer we bought ages ago in Canada. No one uses it."

I will have none of that. I fucking fed those guests. Shouldn't that be enough? Why not give them the microwave which we hadn't used in 48 hours or how about the good quality facial products my daughters bought for you, mister, since you NEVER use them.

I immediately nipped his generosity in the bud. "Sorry" I told the guests. "But this toy is not for an 8 month old." And gave a glare to Hubby.

"Anyways our son can use it." And the son, did use it, asking me geography and science questions all afternoon, so I had actually wondered had it not been better to have given it to our guests after all.

With the weekend over and back to work, I was with my boss's secretary at our second place of work - where I do not have an office - taking meeting minutes and she nonchalantly asked him "Do you want her (meaning me) sticking around until you get back from lunch?"

Yes of course he does.

How long might that be, I asked her.

"Oh, an hour and a half"

"An hour and a half!!! I have things to do back in the office. I have nothing to do while he's stuffing his face. Never volunteer my services to him. Jeesus!"

She was so startled that she promised to bake me 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies to calm me down.

And that, well, sort of did it.