Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Spring is here

You felt it in Jerusalem today. You even see it on the beautiful almond trees, as they bloom (pictures to come tomorrow). I even dared to ask my bosses if I can take an hour for lunch, as it was such a beautiful day. I felt like Oliver Twist asking for a second morsel. Hardly anyone here takes advantage of the newly instated thanks-to-me lunch break, and it's awful. I took a walk down Emek Refaim to the New Age bookstore Olam Qatan, and was treated to chai, as soothing Indian music blared from the speakers. This bookstore stocks up on the most wonderful ethnic music you'll ever hear, as well as some unusual books.

And Spring is in the air, heralding changes with the kids at home. they're all turning to me for help. My son has a birthday party - this time it's a girl's birthday party, and being he was in an all boys' class since he was in third grade, and 7th grade in his secular school is mixed, he hasn't a clue what to give this fair maiden and enlisted me to buy her a gift. I opted for an orange-scented Kassel candle, wrapped up beautifully. He was happy at my choice.

Yesterday the Complainer, cried on my shoulder as she broke up with her boyfriend of nearly two years. He immediately found another girl and she was hysterical - not about the breakup - but because of the "other" woman.

"couldn't he just wait a bit until he started dating?" she cried bitterly.

"Even if you're married 20 years" I told her, "even if the guy is a real prick, the minute a couple gets divorced, it's the guy who immediately finds a woman." Lord knows why this is so, but it is so - as it has happened to many of my friends. And the poor women are left with no one. At least no one normal.

I asked her why she broke up with him.

"I didn't like the way he treated me. I told him if he doesn't change, I can't see him anymore."

"Honey, never wait for them to change. They never do."

And she hugged me, while her tears dripped down my back.


Elizabeth said...

Better to cry now than later, huh? So sorry...men are mostly cads for the most part! Finding a good one is nearly like finding a needle in a haystack!

I found in a magazine:
You can never change a man.
Except when you are changing his diapers!

They do not change for the better usually...she is wise to dump him now. And must feel sorry for the other stupid girl who now is getting duped!

Well, perhaps your daughter will learn what most women know...we really do NEED our girlfriends and women relatives! YES!

Anonymous said...

Dear Jerusalem Gypsy:

Just learned about you from a friend yesterday. this really touched my heart.

i am alone in old jeru. i yell at myself to love every minute here because it is precious to work on issues about the barrier and social justice (my work). yet the loneliness caused by the coldness of the daily life and the cold shoulders in the work arena... has really broken me... i turn to my girl friends on the telephone line the best i can. they are in europe, the and the americas... but there is nothing like someone facing you and seeing their eyes and knowing they give a hoot and connect an idea.

i had a "girlfriend" for five magical weeks upon arriving in jeru last year. he was a man who was really a woman to me. we shared our space, our meals, our secrets, our hopes our dreams. and yes i felt chemistry and he did too. but we knew we had to part.

this space of companionship sabotaged the rest of my jeru stay. i so miss that person's interest in my life, i can hardly breath on a daily basis. i chide myself to care for the sorrows of the palestinians and stop thinking about me... but my subconscious is always c├┤ncentrated on my loneliness. and mornings when i know there is no one to make arabic coffee for... and the light in the kitchen is just so... the reminder that there is no one to share my insecurities, my hopes, my dreams, my silly unconstructive thoughts... those eyes are not here to see me... i feel empty inside... he was a man, he became a girlfriend.. he left, and no on replaces that void...