TV repair guy

They cost a fortune, but my Eldest Daughter offered to pay for fixing the dvd. I wasn't sure whether she meant hers or ours, but our 12 year old tv is just viewed in red technicolor on some stations, our dvd doesn't open on command, the Eldest daughter's dvd plays background noise but no voices are audible.

He wasted no time and immediately put me to work.

"Get me the Sony remote."
"Huh? I haven't used it in years." I remember seeing it once in one of our closets and sure enough it was still there, however dusty. He futzed around with it and told us we had a 92% chance of it being fixed and then it may last 5 years, maybe 6 months. But it would cost us $125 nevertheless.

"there's red, blue and green in the screen. If the green and blue are weak, the red is predominant" he tried to explain to me in Hebrew.

My son was horrified and didn't want to part with the tv tonight. A soccer game was on this evening. I didn't want to part with $125 so we put this repair on hold and will continue to see red until we're able to afford the repair or a new tv.

He went up the stairs past all the dirty undies lying on the steps from assorted members of the family to have a look at my Eldest Daughter's dvd player.

"Can you go downstairs and get me a flashlight?"

"Sure" I don't mind the exercise of trudging downstairs and back up again.

"Could you call your daughter now and find out where her warranty is?"

I called her. I am not only a slave at work, I'm a slave to my tv technician. But she was working and couldn't speak. We found the papers next to the tv, but no receipt, and it's newly bought.

"Could you look for her receipt?"

I poured through her piles of papers in her closet and told the tech guy -

"Look. I'm really uncomfortable looking through her stuff. I never look through her stuff. What if I find something I don't want to see like drugs or condoms?"

At that moment her sister walked in the room.

"You found condoms?" she asked.

"No honey, I was just joking" fearing a sibling war was about to erupt if this conversation continued.

There was a pile of shit in her closet - notes, bank statements, phone numbers of people, photos, business cards, but no receipt.

I found a delivery slip for the tv stand which the tv guy grabbed from my hand. He shrieked at me

"They charge 250 SHEKELS ($50)extra for delivery over the green line??? THEY CHARGE 250 SHEKELS EXTRA FOR DELIVERY OVER THE GREEN LINE???"

He looked awfully scary getting all red-faced and worked up over the small print. I'm glad I didn't work for that outfit. He would have floored me.

"She didn't pay more than 50 NIS for delivery" I assured him. That calmed him down somewhat.

"You'd think that in Tel Aviv, they'd write something like this, but from a store in Malcha Mall in Jerusalem??? What nerve!!"

I called my daughter.

"Where is your receipt? I need it before the technician makes me look through every room in the house. I'm tired. I don't want to work for him!"

"I paid in cash. I didn't get a receipt."

"WHAT!?? How will you have a warranty without a receipt?"

She figured she'll never need to worry about a warranty, and not have to have unnecessary papers clogging her already clogged up room.

The technician saw my weary face.

"Don't worry. That's happened before. I'll make them give it to you. She'll tell me where she bought the dvd and I'll call them up and make them fax the receipt to you. That's what I do."

And for this I pay him the big buckos.