Meet the Fockers

Well it seemed like we were in that movie anyways - two families, same religion, but totally different cultures. My daughter first thought that just the mother of the groom-to-be would be coming to meet us on Saturday night. That's all I invited. But then she informed me that his two sisters with their husbands are coming too. HELP! I had 1 1/2 hours to get it all together - tuna salads and egg salads with garnishes (I am proud of my garnishes), as well as sparkling wine, fruit salad, apple pie and cheese cake and assorted Moroccan pastries. The table looked lovely, and I was so nervous.

Moments before they came my Good Daughter and Son were having a go on my nerves.

"MOM! He just farted by the cheesecake!"

Ahhh true Osborne-like behavior. Let them get it out of their system now before the guests come, rather than during their visit.

Then they walked in. With bouquets of flowers so big that if the spies from the time of Moses would have seen those, they surely would have reported those mothers back to him - never mind those man-size grapes. They also brought a huge gift basket, and a bottle of Chivas. Wow. What's up with all that?? It's normal for people coming from Arab countries (even Jews) to be extremely generous when it comes to celebrating. Not like us cheap Westerners.

Most understood English except for my daughter's future mom-in-law. Hubby could only relate in English and we talked in both languages and everyone seemed friendly. The men in the family were staunch right-wingers and asked me who I was voting for. Well I won't tell them - Labor party. That might ruin the engagement. I opted for the middle. "Kadima of course".

"YOU CAN'T VOTE KADIMA!! YOU MUST VOTE SHAS. THE LAND OF ISRAEL. WE ARE ALL RIGHT WING HERE!"

There. Vote Shas - the Sephardic ultra-orthodox party - and enter heaven. But it was a friendly yell. I really didn't think, by the end of the night, they really gave a shit who I vote for.

Hubby was telling them about his favorite synagogue which is 1 hour away. We were thinking - is he going to tell them about our favorite Reform synagogue. Now? Can't he wait until AFTER the kids are married to irritate the Orthodox in-laws? But he never elaborated further. I wondered if they noticed my book on Islam on prominent display on my bookshelf?