Weird Shit

I knew this week was getting weird when I found a pair of my underwear on the floor near our private entrance in the parking lot for our apartment building. Now how the heck did that get there. I think about it for a few minutes each day. Did the damn dog have it in its mouth on the way to the "toilet" outside at 5 am in the morning. Did Hubby feel a moment of passion while toying with the undies while having a smoke by his automobile? Geez. Life is such a mystery.

Then there was the unidentified hairy object I found sleeping next to my eldest daughter a couple of mornings ago when I opened up her unlocked door. I must have stared too hard. He sure was cute. I didn't believe her one bit when I called her up at work and asked who he was.

"He's gay" she told me. Sure, sweetie. Mama knows best. She has gay radar. The guy is definitely straight.

"We're just friends" was her other excuse and continued giving me about 25 stupid excuses. More on mystery #2 next week, perhaps.

I went to my friend's son's wedding last night in some remote place 1 1/2 hours north of Jerusalem. Hubby bugged off on me and thankfully, knowing how stable life is with the Caveman, I was wise enough to make a backup plan. I hitched a ride with one another Jerusalemite going to the wedding. I had to take a cab from work though because of time constraints. The cab driver was concerned. Of course, they have to know where I'm going and why. Always.

"You aren't dressed to go to a wedding" he observed.

"I have my clothing in a bag here and I'll get dressed at that person's house before we leave. It'll only take me 5 minutes."

"5 MINUTES!! FOR A WEDDING?? How will you have time to put on your makeup?"

I thought of asking him - Why do you doubt my word, mister man. Have you been dating my eldest daughter, you freak. (She's the one that takes 2 hours to step outside the house, even if she's just going to the grocers).

I was very grateful, while stepping out of the cab, that we do not tip taxi drivers in Israel.