Whoa! Lotsa Karma Happening Around Here

This was so strange. I feel like I'm wandering around in a very trippy twilight zone. And I'm not even taking any drugs - not legal or illegal - to enhance the unreality.

My daughter complained that she miscalculated someone's bill and gave them alot more money back than she should have. So instead of making 160 shekels in tips she took home only 60. She complained about those "old frechas" - Israeli tart-like women in their '40s-'50s who probably knew she made a mistake but said nothing about it. I felt so guilty. I've done that myself this year, at the bakery, walking out and smirking once - after paying $1 when it should have costed something like $10 because he miscalculated. It was like - Hey! Now I have more money to blow on shit. But it only blows back in your face and this time it was my daughter's face. It took it personally.

I feel what I do in this world not only affects my family directly, but also the world in one form or another. Like yesterday, we were discussing food in our interfaith session. When reading up on Judaism's take on it, I discovered that that particular food is spiritually elevated when you make a blessing over it, and so is the source of that food - the earth, tree, etc. That was pretty wild. The body is the Holy Temple. Wow.

I tried to get to the meeting on time but it was impossible. My boss dictated two e-mails at 4:30 just as I was getting my papers ready for my presentation and wondered why I sounded "in a rush". He can't figure out there is life after Work. I bumped into Souliman and his co-worker, who had a special permit to be in West Jerusalem, and was looking for a parking space. They asked me to help them find parking. I jumped into their car and looked for a parking space for them. When I found them metered parking, I had to explain meters to them. I don't think there are parking meters in Palestinian Authority areas. I tried to get them to avoid the $25 fine and insisted they put money in the meter. I only had carfare on me to get back home but used half of that, because they didn't have enough for the meter. But later on, after the meeting ended, my friend Ibrahim, who learned of my 'generosity' for that evening, threw in $5 into my pocketbook. "We're family" he explained, after I complained that I don't need anything from him, I'll get it from my daughters who work nearby.

So I found this wallet in the street very late that night and finally had a chance to do some penance. You always get a chance in this life. Of course, being penniless these days, my first thought was to toss the wallet and keep the $12 found in there but then I thought of how miserable that young girl would be at that loss with her photo ID and that kind of overrode my temporary sense of greed. I remember Karmela the Nun losing her wallet before a meeting once, and she was so miserable calling up the cab company in case it was still in the taxi.

I found the number of the owner of the purse in the phone book and called them the next morning. Her parents were French. They were elated (even the French are happy sometimes) that I found it and the daughter rushed over to pick it up from us. I thought - YES! God will reward me today. Instead I had the worst day imaginable.

Hubby had an appointment at debtor's court where they check you every once in a while to see if you can pay the creditors more than you are paying them already. The new judge didn't give too much of a fuck that he wasn't working and thought it luxurious that we have cable TV and internet and a pet. Even worse was the fact that I ONCE had a haircut. Yes, these are luxuries in the third world, but we're not supposed to be a third world country - right? So she slapped him with an enormous monthly fine - if he doesn't pay it he goes straight to jail. Don't you just love Israeli monopoly?? I got home to a miserable household after work and prayed that God would send an earthquake that night and have the earth swallow only that building which houses the debtor's court with all its records and all its furniture that it takes from people who cannot pay their bills - and thought how wonderful it was during biblical times when debts were forgiven after 50 years - the Jubilee Year.

This morning I turned 49 years old. I'm one year away from Jubilation. My younger Ex-Criminal daughter asked me this morning - pissed as all hell that I woke her up for school

"How old are you now? 89?"

What a super-bitch. I asked her

"Don't I look damn good for 89?"