Pride and Unprejudice

There were many things I missed this week - like the Jerusalem Festival of Light and Peace in the Jerusalem Forest and the Gay Parade and party this past Thursday. Some may think - why on earth would you even bother going to something like that? A few years ago a female friend of mine, who worked with me in high tech, became one of my closest friends. She had this dry sense of humor and practiced Orthodox Judaism - by the way she dressed and the way she tried to observe the many commandments. All things fit her Orthodox lifestle except for the fact that she was a lesbian. I was the first person in the office she "came out" to. I was shocked to say the least. (Hubby's brother left religion after he "came out" but why did he have to leave his spiritual life behind?) I went to her and her partner's "commitment" ceremony which was held on a Friday afternoon and afterwards her guests from the small gay/lesbian Orthodox community (which I never knew existed) went to pray at the local synagogue. Needless to say it caused a bit of a ruckus in the neighborhood. I stood next to a guest from the US, who hadn't been in a synagogue in years. She was reciting the prayers with tears streaming down her face. I'm sure those prayers were heard.

The reason I cite this story was because during the week of "shiva" there was a young woman who had broken off relations with her family. It wasn't of her doing. She is divorced with a small child, is still Orthodox, but less than her family would like. She told me her she hasn't seen her parents in months because they rejected her for the reason that she no longer covers her hair. It's heartbreaking to see this intolerance. I saw the same picture many years ago when a kid left his chassidic community because his father threw him out of the house for wearing metal eyeglass frames instead of the more socially accepted thick black frames. Sure, I'd love my kids to be the "A" students I always wanted them to be, and would have loved to have children with no police record, or have children that are leaders in their community - but it didn't happen but you have to accept and love these "misfits of (their) society" regardless. Because they don't come up to your expectations because they've turned out to be gay or lesbian, less religious, less generous, less whatever - so what.