why do children self-destruct

I have been trying to go "macrobiotic". I'm not going to go insane about this difficult diet, but will try to eat primarily healthy. I'm going through terrible Kid Stresses. My son has been suspended from school twice this week - today I got a call that he threw a kid into a trash can. It sounded really funny, but I tried to stifle my laughter when I was talking to the teacher. He's been switched to another class so that he and another trouble-maker could be separate, but he managed to still be a barrelful of trouble for everyone today. And this, after Hubby cooked him up some scrambled eggs this morning for energy and stamina and that he should go to school on a full stomach. And after promises of my son joining a soccer league, and getting a cellphone for good behavior by Passover and decorating his room in Jerusalem Betar's colors (an ugly yellow and black). None of that seems like it's gonna happen now.

So, the only way for me to cope with all this without taking valium, marijuana or other substances to calm me down is to stay off sugar and eat healthy. Whole grains, legumes, organic veggies and some fruits and green tea. That is basically my diet.

I was at a dinner last night which was a macrobiotic potluck. We all brought something to share. And my main complaint about this diet is that it all looks like guck. Brown guck. Sometimes you have a bit of orange thrown in - if there's a butternut squash involved, but it still looks dull and uninviting. But I am sure it will do wonders for the 3 more kilos I have to lose.

The group welcomed me as warmly as if I had just accepted Jesus in a Christian Bible Study group. They surrounded me with advice and info and smiles. OMG, if I mess up and have a coffee out, dare I tell anyone in the group? Will I be excommunicated?

I had a call from my Ex-Criminal's Hostel in the middle of the potluck. The social worker babbled on in Hebrew, using these painfully extraordinarily long words that I couldn't understand but her tone seemed mournful. I needed English. Please talk to me in English. I don't care if you break your tongue on this. I need to hear you in my native language.

Apparently my daughter had some sort of emotional breakdown, talking to herself, lying on the floor, and making animal noises. I thought this is how she is when she wants to goof on people. They thought it was a breakdown and were frightened. They sent her back to the place she had been at before the Hostel. Then the social worker tells me she cried bitterly, but she had to be put into a safe environment, where she won't hurt herself.

"Of course she cried bitterly, she won't be able to go to her normal school, where she had this wonderful routine going every day and where they really liked her. What do you expect?"

"Yes, it could be that."

"Let her get in touch with me now. I want to speak with her."

This didn't happen of course. I was hopping mad that they didn't tell me this when it happened on Monday, but waited 2 days. I'm thinking they pushed her to act in this manner. Hubby called and was on his way home but was luckily not home yet.

"We need to see our daughter immediately." He turned around to meet me in town.

Meanwhile, the macro crowd was astounded at me telling them about my daughter - it's not easy to open up for most people about the family. Everyone wants everyone to think their family is perfect. But as I open up, I realize that everyone's family whom I thought was always perfect, is far from perfect, and go through some of the same trials and tribulations as I do. I felt comfort in that.

I called my son to tell him we're coming home later than expected. "And there's spaghetti and meat sauce in the fridge for you." Everyone in the room laughed. Saying "spaghetti and meat sauce" in a macrobiotics group is akin to saying "bacon and eggs" in front of an Orthodox rabbi's family. oops.

Hubby and I arrived unannounced and trounced in quite easily. My daughter seemed fine, but did not want to talk about her incident. Either she is in denial or it didn't happen the way I was told it happened. But she was surrounded by friends and staff and I felt she was in a safe place.

Whatever. I'm drained and could use a good hot cappucino at the moment.