Monday, August 08, 2005

10th anniversary

Not my wedding anniversay. No. No. I certainly don't want to talk about that. Not today. Probably not never. At least not until Caveman Hubby starts using serious meds for his yo-yo, manic depressive moods. It's my 10th anniversary since we've touched down on holy soil, since we've moved from Toronto to Jerusalem. And what a rocky road it was, and still is. But even though I cry when I visit New York and Toronto, especially when the customs guy tells me "Welcome Home" at Kennedy Airport, this is my Soul Home. My spiritual home. I certainly didn't come here to strike it rich. I certainly didn't come here to have an easier life. I certainly didn't come here for the abundance of rock concerts by famous bands - I think you get one in a decade here. And it wasn't because Jerusalem is the fashion capital of the world, or the cuisine capital of the world. What the hell did I come here for anyways????

Us Canadian-US expats are always asking ourselves and each other that very question. I don't know what I came here for, really. I'm more at peace with my soul being here. It's not something that's totally understood. I always compare it to the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" where Richard Dreyfus' character knows he NEEDS to get to a certain mountain, but doesn't quite know why.

I also came to give my kids a better life, for them to know their heritage better, to be able to run around in malls without fear of being kidnapped by some pedophile sicko, to be able to run barefoot if they want in the streets, etc. etc. And for the most part, I think they have that - teenagers camp out together in droves during the summer months on the beaches of the Kinneret and you don't have to worry or be there or even call. You'll see them 4 days later - looking like stray cats, totally dishevelled and exhausted but totally happy. My youngest daughter did that, plus the older 3 are partying it up in all-nighters in Eilat with friends later this week for one week. They won't sleep. They won't eat. Not much anyways. And I'll have a quiet house.


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Mirty said...

I'm more at peace with my soul being here.

Makes sense to me.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I stumbled onto your blog while I was searching for something, and I read some of it.

I just visited Israel for the first time about two months ago, and its really great hearing the daily thoughts of someone who lives there. Especially someone who comes from North America originally.

As for commenting directly on your most recent comment. I know exactly how you feel about the spiritual calling of Jerusalem.

I know I could never live there completely. I feel the same pull to America as I do to Israel. Perhaps its the Native American/Colonial American blood in me. Not to mention the fact that I have a hard time just living 4hrs away from my family. Living in another country would break my heart.

But Im determined to get a Winter/Spring place there, and live there half the year.

The entire time in Jerusalem, I felt so incredibly connected to the land, I spent it all in this daze. I actually compared the calling to the land like Legolas's feeling of being called to the sea and to Valimar at the end of Lord of the Rings (the book not the movie).

I cant wait to go back.