Summer's end

I was tired. Really tired of doing shit for everyone in my family. I walked up the steps to the Mall and saw pidgeons in the way.

"May the Cats get you!" I cursed to them.

I had just done a gruelling two week takeover stint for my boss - whose personal secretary was away for a two week summer holiday. No holidays for the wicked, though. I must be damn wicked. He rewarded me on Thursday, the last day of the week, by being sarcastically humorous during our meetings.

"Do you have a copy of THIS?" he thundered at me in front of 2 colleagues.

"I have a copy of THIS in my computer, just not printed out." I answered.

"See? She can't give you a straight answer!!! She shoulda been a RABBI!!"

Everyone in the room laughed. Even me. When he's chiding me, life is good. Plus we had something in common. We both had run-ins with banks this week. He had difficulties getting through to them, even though he's got big bucks - they just would not service him properly. The guy's got bucks! Be nice to the man. He knows big people. But no. They're not. And the bank I deal with was sucky to me too. The first slap in the face was that you can no longer get anyone from your branch on the phone. They give you over to some asshole sitting in Tel Aviv who doesn't know you from dick, who begins the conversation, for security reasons, by asking 10 minutes of personal questions.

"What is your ID #?"
"What are your parents names"
"What was the last deposit you made"
"What are monthly withdrawals you make"
"What is your age"
"What is your home phone number"
"What is your other phone number"

By the time they finally were satisfied enough to talk to me about my account, my break was up. I got really pissed off at them and retorted.

"Hey - why didn't you ask about my weight!!!?? or my bra size - for god's sake"

The person on the other end laughed weakly.

"I mean it - ask me some real personal questions."

By then, though, my boss was hollering for me to come into the board room - immediately!! I hung up the phone on them and didn't ever get to the problem of why I can't make withdrawals from my ATM card. I guess to know the answer to that mystery question, I will have to make the strenuous effort for a personal visit to my local bank branch. Where I can scream and shout at the tellers/bank managers face-to-face.