Watch out for the Neighbors from Hell

The guys came to pick up the two outdoor storage sheds we had on our huge porch. Some neighbor must have complained when Hubby bought the second one because the first one didn't attract any notice. But when we began to decorate our back porch with potted plants and trees, it must have roused the jealousy of one of our neighbors. Here people get jealous of everything. No matter how rough you have it inside, the outside is what shows to the world.

Hubby thought at first that it was his friend who squealed to the city engineer (apparently one is not allowed to have tall outdoor storage sheds on their balconies here - only in gardens - just shorter ones can be on the porches. If you want to keep the large ones, you have to apply for a building permit - I kid you not - and that may take 20 years and dozens of penalties inbetween). But I said - you hire your friend to do electrical work on your projects, why the hell would THAT neighbor bite the hand that feeds his family?

Then I thought of our neighbors on the other side. They're tough Morrocans and have been complaining ever since we moved in three years ago.

When we moved in our tiny front garden was just filled with soil.

"Can't you get plants or grass for your garden?" the neighbor wife complained to me. "The dust from the dirt comes into my front porch and I'm always washing it down."

Thank God there is no law (yet) against having a garden with no plants or we'd have gotten a threatening letter from the City.

Another time the same bold street cat that would casually walk into our home and sit on our beds and lurk in the kitchen, was found on their premises.

"Do you have a cat?"

"No."

"Because it stole a chicken we had on our counter and took off with it"

Sorry. Can't help you with that. We're just immigrants and don't know how to handle tough Israeli Tom Cats.

Recently my son kicked his soccer ball onto their roof.

Shouts rang out from their apartment.

"YOU BEN-ZONAH!!!! YOU BEN-ZONAH!!!" ("you son of a whore")

No one insults me. Get it? I'm planning a revenge attack. Soon there'll be 10 cans of tuna lined up on their rooftop and hopefully all the neighborhood cats will have a grand feast on the Neighbors from Hell's roof.