It's been 9 years since we've landed in Jerusalem from Toronto, and a mostly happy 9 years. We've been through alot of growth and wanderings. Rabin was assassinated shortly after we arrived and I had a lot of spiritual rethinking to do, which I did and I'm where I am today, as a result. I spent the day - the next to last day of my summer vacation from work - buying 2nd hand clothing from my favorite eclectic shop in French Hill. Even if I had millions, I probably would still frequent this store. You never know what find you'll find! Then I went to a bead store to make some jewellery for myself and to restring old necklaces lying dormant in my closet for years. But it's my anniversary and wanted to do something meaningful. So off I trotted to the old city to listen to Shmuel Greenbaum whose wife was killed in the Sbarro terrorist blast 3 years ago in Jerusalem. I was intrigued because his speech was on Fighting Terror with Kindness. What makes a man not bitter, not full of hatred after his wife and unborn child were blown to bits? I had to hear for myself. Because if this could work for him, this may also work for Palestinians too who lost a loved one in this madness. He told stories about people who lost children. They were a gift from God and were lent for a temporary period after which they had to go back where they came from. He spoke about people who are angry and bitter. The antidote for which is to be grateful. I know from personal experience, if I have a very bitter-against-my-husband-relatives-children day, my friend and sponsor will tell me to write down things I am grateful for. It calms you down somewhat. When the 9/11 disaster happened, people went out of their way to help one another - to do acts of kindness. Do we need a tragedy like this for people to do acts of kindness, or can they happen naturally? Unfortunately, the media hoists up celebraties, sports idols, politicians, but where are the kindness heros, he asked. So he's got an e-mail subscription list - you do an act of kindness, you write about it and get feedbak from strangers encouraging you to continue. Without encouragement, people generally don't think about doing these things He mentioned that this fight between Palestinians and Israelis is not a political war but a spiritual one, and when it's a spiritual one, you have to bring in positive, spiritual actions that will eventually change the world to be a better place for all of mankind. I'm listing his site on my sidebar for those that want to peruse the website of this amazing person. And to put my "kindness" into action, after a friend called and said she may be stuck for a place to live after September 1st because she has to move out by then and may not have found a place to live in by that time - I offered her our place to crash for a couple of weeks until she finds a suitable place. She can handle us. Even though our house is a handful, and we relish our privacy, I certainly can give out some acts of kindness.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
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Was Rabin's assassination sort of a watershed event in your stance toward Arabs/Palestinians? I get the sense you've changed alot in how you view them. Anything more you could say about Rabin's assassination and its effect on your life there and views on Israel/being an Israeli citizen (either in this response section or in a separate post) would be very interesting to read.
Jimmy
Yes, I certainly did an about-face after
Rabin's murder. I came to Israel 9 years ago firmly believing that if all the Arabs would pick up and leave and live elsewhere - anywhere - all our problems would be solved. I was angry they were living in our holy cities like Hebron, I was angry that their cities like Battir were originally the biblical cities of Betar, etc. I saw how Jews became divided after Rabin died and there was alot of suspicion and hatred between secular/religious - leftwing/right wing. It bothered me tremendously. I had to rethink my thoughts. I wasn't drawn to the popular political peace groups who wanted to return to the borders of 1967. Just like I now believe you can't make/ask Arab families living in historical Jewish cities or villages for 500 years to pick up and go. You have to move on from the present. So luckily I found a few groups that thought as I did, althought 2 years ago I thought I was the only one thinking that way. And it's been much more fulfilling rather than having my day filled with anger and anxiety. I feel this is now my purpose in my life here. This is why I felt I HAD to move to Israel. Firstly, finding a common ground between Israelis and Palestinians and working with it. That's how you build trust between peoples and alleviate the fear. Once fear is gone or minimized, you can at least work together and from there it builds and catches on fire. Walking in the park the other day, I saw an old friend who is now in the process of making a film on tolerance between Arabs and Israelis. I knew she had once been as right wing as I had been. What happened, I asked. "I don't know, something clicked and I don't think like that anymore." So it's a start. Maybe one day, everyone will have this kind of revelation and we can start anew here in this Holy Land for both Arabs and Jews.
Happy Anniversary and congratulations for building a life there.
I'm very left wing and a great friend of mine was right wing - as she would say, "Bibi is God". On my last visit she had done a 180 degree turn into a rabid left winger. When I asked her what had changed she told me that she had gotton to know a Palestinian woman from a neighboring village. She said that she finally realised that they wanted the same things - peace, a decent home, education for their children and a future. I think we have to let go of the past as justifications for our actions and look at what exists now - two groups of people, each of whom want to live in peace on a small piece of land and come up with a solution that doesn't disenfranchise either group.
On a different note - you have several children of varying ages and I wonder how they adapted to living there - what the transition was like, what difficulties they faced and how you prepared them for it.
Yes. If e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e living in this country would make an effort (it doesn't come naturally - you have to make the effort) to get to know the Other we would have an entire country changed. Amazing.
As for my kids, I knew that if I waited to move to Israel, if my eldest would have been older than 12, she would have suffered tremendously. As it was, she cried for about 1 1/2 years, as her closest friend was in Canada. Her friend's mother and I were the best of friends. So they knew each other and played together since they were toddlers. They were like sisters. But we became less Orthodox and they were Chassidic. When my daughter went back to visit, the warmth was there, but they had grown apart. After my daughter's visit to Canada, I think she realized what she has here.
We had a rough start. We were new immigrants. Local kids made fun of the way we spoke and the way we dressed. We were even harassed, where the kids would throw apples and pebbles into our garden. I marched off to one of their parents and cried and hashed it out in my broken Hebrew telling them that we left everything in Canada, friends, relatives, Volvos, etc. only to have their kid harass us. From then on the harassment lessened. Then my kids began to dress more Israeli-style. Many English-speakers gravitate to neighborhoods where there are other English speakers for companionship/community. We didn't. Our neighborhood has less than a handful of English speakers. So my kids totally assimilated into Israeli culture.
The funniest part was when we were at the Absorption Center and my 5 year old was in kindergarten. It was winter which is perhaps 35-40 degrees farenheit. Springtime for Canadians. Of course, I put no gloves or hat on her and social workers showed up at our door. "We hear from the school that you don't dress the children appropriately for winter." Huh? Have you ever been to Canada sweet-pea? THAT'S WINTER. THE GREAT WHITE NORTH. WHERE IT SNOWS IN APRIL, AND YOUR EARS FREEZE AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER. DON'T TELL ME ABOUT DRESSING MY CHILDREN PULEEEESE! I'd say it took 2-3 years of them really adjusting. I was like a fish back in water.
Hello Leah:
I would like to know what is the interrelation between these things for Israelis: Chasidism, Orthodoxy and tolerance toward or sympathy for Palestinians/Arabs. To put it in the form of a question: does being Chasidic by definition entail being non-sympathetic toward Arabs/Palestinians (of course I mean those Arabs/Palestinians that live within Israel or feel they have some claim to live there or to part of its land)? Similarly, does being Orthodox preclude tolerance toward or sympathy for Arabs/Palestinians? To arrive at your current stance toward your neighbors, was it necessary to leave those sorts of more conservative Judaism behind?
Thanks, Jimmy
When you are in a Chasidic community, or any ultra-orthodox community, you become very insular. You don't want any outside influences coming into the community and disrupting the status quo. You don't want your children leaving the fold. So it's the fear of that which keeps these kinds of community so separate from anyone else, including secular Jews. I do know of some ultra-Orthodox individuals that are working towards peace with Arabs like Rabbi Froman - I believe I posted his photo with Ibrahim after my Barcelona trip. But generally they are few. I still feel if I wanted to, I could return to that way of life and still keep the same values and goals for peace as I have now. Who knows how the wind blows.
Hi Leah. Mazal tov on your anniversary. I pray that your next 9 years (and more) will continue to be full of growth, adventure, interfaith work and peacemaking. May your family's rootedness in Israel cause all to continue to sprout branches of love, health and friendship.
L'hitraot
www.1rabbi.blogspot.com
1rabbi - what beautiful blessings. Thank you. I need encouragement, for me to continue my work and infect others living here with enthusiasm to bring full peace into this country - starting by treating each other with equality and respect.
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